We all dream of a team of Carragher's

This picture doesn't really need a caption

So that's it then. Jamie Carragher will play his final game for Liverpool this Sunday... his 737th appearance
 for the club. Pretty special in todays era of agents moving players round just for the sake of their bank balances.

It is also fitting that he leaves Liverpool with the supporters not wanting him to leave.. well stop playing at least. You can be pretty sure he's still going to be around on matchdays, especially now he's working for Sky alongside the anti-Carragher.. although credit where it's due, he has done a good job for Sky despite being "a busy little cunt" at Man Utd.

It is curious that Carragher's  announcement that he would be retiring at the end of the season coincided almost exactly with his return to the first team. Personally I am surprised that he didn't have second thoughts once it seemed that he did have another season left in his legs. Maybe that was the problem, if he was finding it a struggle, although it didn't seem too apparent. Not enough of a problem for Skrtel to get much of a sniff of a game. The fact that he already had something lined up with the move to Sky probably influenced his decision also... I suspect if that wasn't there we'd still be seeing Carra next season. But getting paid a shit-load for sitting about talking about football doesn't seem too taxing does it. Even Andy fucking Townsend gets paid for that despite barely having a basic grasp of the game.

The Carragher Manifesto

My hope is that this isn't the last the Liverpool FC will see of James Lee Duncan Carragher.. and not just sat in the stands with all the other ex-Reds. Or working for the TV with all the other ex-Reds. After reading "The Carragher Manifesto" (I believe it was called something different officially but that's not important) I want that lad in charge of Liverpool Football Club.

Football autobiographies are usually achingly dull, but Carragher's is one of the best one's going which is actually mainly about football. There are interesting ones but they aren't really about football (for example : Tony Adams, Steve Claridge).

But why am I trying to sell you this book, you've probably already read it and if not you're more likely to be interested in what the Anti-Carragher (Rat-Boy, Gary Neville, the devil has many faces) has to say for himself, which he tends to do quite a lot more these days now he's got a job for Sky.

Actually in many ways they are pretty much the same, it's just that they played for different clubs and depending on your allegiance. You either love Jamie Carragher.. or well there's probably something wrong with you if not.

Whatever Jamie Carragher does or says just makes you like him more.. (whilst the exact opposite was true of Neville) whether it was scoring a penalty for Everton at Anfield, or looking at the interviewer as if he had three heads when asked whether he'd consider leaving Liverpool for a bigger club and then telling him "Who's bigger than Liverpool?"

Or on the eve of the 2nd leg of the 2005 Champions League semi-final when on a booking saying that he didn't mind getting booked and missing the final so long "as it mattered".

Or the the story of how Salif Diao confided in him that Everton we're interested in him, but he was worried about the Liverpool fans reaction. "No.. don't worry about that.. you go and sign for Everton." Please for fucks sake go and sign for Everton.

I got stuck in a bit of a loop then... sorry.

To get back to my point.. I want to see Jamie Carragher in charge of Liverpool. He eats, sleeps, and breathes football. He studies the game like not many players do and I believe would make a  great manager - a few years down the line admittedly, but he will one day.

Now this is a bit of a leap, but say 5 years down the line, perhaps more.. hopefully we haven't gone through too many managers by that point, because a high turnover is not a good sign - maybe even with him in as a coach before then. He's practically doing this already - I read that he barks orders at Andre Wisdom whilst on the bench apparently - you can bet that this isn't an isolated incident.

But can you imagine a better person to be in charge for the re-perching of Liverpool?

Liverpool v Chelsea - Welcome back Rafa Benitez... Fuck Off Chelsea.

Who would have thought when Rafael Benitez left his job as Liverpool manager in 2010 that when he returned, in a professional capacity at least, that he would do so in charge of Chelsea. Well I say 'in charge' in the loosest possible sense.

The 'I want that one' child-like mentality of the Chelsea's oligarch means that that whoever is in charge won't be for very long and they've even given up the pretence of this by calling Benitez the 'interim' manager which
is setting him up to fail. You cannot really manage a football club, or anything else for that matter if you don't have the authority over those that you are trying to manage. Particularly when you've got insufferable pricks like John Terry about the place.

I didn't really want this to turn into a Chelsea rant, but I suppose that's inevitable.

Benitez was living on borrowed time from day one.. to have a stadium booing you before you've even kicked off your first game cannot have been easy, even if it is only Chelsea fans doing it. It is curious how it's never 'Abramovic Out' that they're are whining about is it. He is clearly the common factor in their revolving door manager recruitment strategy.

It is a strange one today.. not least because the Chelsea manager is held in much higher regard by the Liverpool fans than his own. It's hard to think of the equivalent really. Perhaps it would be if Mourinho rocked up at Anfield, although I'm not sure that quite fits. Largely because of the careers of the two men since they left Chelsea and Liverpool respectably. Highlighted by the fortunes of both men at Inter Milan. Mourinho winning the Champions League there has to rank about as high as Benitez winning it with us.

I didn't like the self-proclaimed 'special one' when he was at Chelsea - this won't come as much of a shock - but, when you look at his career since and indeed while he was at Porto I have to admit a grudging respect for his achievements. A point brought into sharp focus when you consider who will take over at Man United when Ferguson finally leaves - although you suspect that might be in a box.

Back to today. Liverpool are now into the customary April 'dead' league games.. this is something that needs to be rectified very quickly. By this time next season we need the last few league games to have significance. Now I'm not deluded enough to think that this would mean a challenge for the league (We haven't the strength in depth of squad just yet), but we certainly need to get towards the pointy end in terms of fighting for the top 4 places... because if not we can wave goodbye to Luis Suarez.

At the pointy end of the fight for the top 4 is where we find our visitors today and personally I would love it if we could kick a large hole in their chances today. Chelsea have gradually risen in my levels of contempt  over the past few years. They are a club with very few, if any, redeeming features and they represent an awful lot of what is wrong with modern football. They represent this and also they are the cause of a lot of it as well. And when I say Chelsea I do mean specifically Roman Abramovich.

Nothing to see here.

Chelsea are where they are today on the whim of a deeply suspicious character. Not wanting to make sweeping generalisations (standby for a sweeping generalisation) but you don't get that rich in Russia (or anywhere else) by operating within the margins of what is legal.. allegedly. That's how it works isn't it, just say allegedly at the end and you can make any old shit up.

Now the story goes that Abramovich originally intended to buy Tottenham but saw Stamford Bridge from his helicopter and changed his mind. Now I'm not sure how that true that story is, but it does't sound very far off the mark.

And once he started throwing his money around it was up to everyone else to try and follow suit.. a course of events that nearly destroyed Liverpool when we went cap in hand to Hicks & Gillett. And of course you now have the likes of Man City spending eye-watering sums of money which who cannot generate through football. A point summed up by Arsene Wenger when he said that the success of a football club should be built on sweat, not oil.

Aren't I doing well not turning this into a Chelsea rant?

Back to today's game.. hopefully a repeat of the 4-1 demolition of Chelsea last season awaits us this afternoon, but that is perhaps a bit optimistic. The goals do seem to have dried up a little over the past two games. But quite how that happened against Reading was thanks almost entirely to the almost super-human efforts of Alex McCarthy in goal.

But Chelsea's away form is a bit ragged.. the win at Fulham was their first away win in the League since their Jon Walters assisted battering of Stoke in January - with only a point picked up from 4 away games at Reading, Southampton, Newcastle and Man City. Not really the form of a convincing top 4 push.

As far as Liverpool are concerned.. well it depends which Liverpool turns up. We have had plenty of games this season where we've been scoring goals for fun, but we have also had several where frankly we just haven't turned up. Inconsistency is one of the major wrinkles the Rodgers is going to have to iron out for next season.

But hopefully we do turn up today.. we don't particularly need the points any more, but if it fucks Chelsea up then that's good enough for me, particularly as the only redeemable feature of that 'football club' won't be around next season anyway.

Why European Football is shit..

BEFORE READING MY RAMBLINGS, PLEASE VISIT MY JUST GIVING CHARITY LINK - THANKS.

Time for a bit of a rant, this time caused by the never ending saga of european tournaments, or more specifically, why UEFA never stop making a mess of them.

I'm reasonably confident, that doesn't say Europa League.

This has more to do with the UEFA Cup, not called that anymore but that is just the start of the constant cocking about that annoys me.

For a start it goes on way too long, to the point where Alain Depardieu recently said that he didn't care if Newcastle actually won the thing, it would still be a waste of time.

I'm paraphrasing slightly, and he is fundamentally wrong. If Newcastle actually won a trophy there would be such a regional orgasm that.. well I don't want to think about such a gruesome spectacle, but happily that's unlikely to happen before we are all long dead, so we'll move on.

His main point that his side couldn't cope with the demands of playing that many games is a fair one.

So far Newcastle have played 13 games in Europe and we're still only at the Quarter Final stage - it should be pointed out that they have only won 5 of those to get as far as they have.

Part of this is due to the sheer number of teams involved. 18 of which drop into it from the European Cup (see UEFA Cup). I agree that teams who lose their qualifier should drop into it, but the 3rd place teams from the European Cup is a joke - Chelsea I am talking about you here.

It's embarrassing and it all adds to the sense that the UEFA Cup isn't worth it. This is more of a view among the English sides although this may change if a few get through to the semi's tonight.

If they were to trim a few rounds off it.. and most of all make it worth winning, a place in the Champions League group stage would be a sufficient reward for slogging your guts out round Bratislava and the Ukraine since July.

It needs trimming down and personally I would like to see them not play all the games on a Thursday as I am  not a huge fan of going to the league games on a Sunday, but that isn't going to happen.

It is part of the larger picture of what is wrong with modern football. It used to be the point of football to win trophies. That is it.

Didn't win the league? Fuck it, we won the Cup instead.

Winning a trophy used to mean a successful season. Last season Liverpool got to two Cup Finals, winning admittedly the shit one, but people (by which I mean the press) were saying that it was still a poor season EVEN IF WE  WON THE FA CUP as well, but didn't finish in the top 4.

The Holy Grail of Modern Football - "getting in the top 4 is as good as a trophy" No it isn't Fuck Off Arsene.

But the sad thing is as long as the money keeps rolling in - by getting into the "Champions" League, not by the hard way of actually being Champions (although thank fuck for that) then that counts as success these days.

But let me ask you this... When did you last see a victory parade with the board of directors waving the club's balance sheet?

Luis Suarez - should he stay or should he go?

Before reading my ramblings, please donate to my just giving page on this link

Do you like the deliberately provocative title.. not even a question really, from my perspective anyway and probably yours as well if you followed the link to this blog on twitter anyway.

We have however had the now customary Luis Suarez transfer episode.. the stories were splashed all over the papers that read as if Suarez was on the verge of leaving Liverpool. A popular theme when the football press has nothing more pressing than the International friedlies.

It went along the usual lines.. some interview which said that he would welcome bids from clubs in Champions League. This was swiftly dismissed by Suarez who said that he expects this kind of nonsense from the press in the UK but not in Uruguay and that if they kept it up then he would solve the problem by stopping talking to them.

This of course wouldn't solve anything as they just make it all up anyway so actually talking to them doesn't make the slightest difference anyway.

Cristiano Ronaldo

It is an interesting twist on the perceived bias on the London centric press..  which let's be fair they have had quite a few column miles out of Suarez since he signed for Liverpool. I did especially like the comparison between their reaction to the form of Luis Suarez and Gareth Bale. It does seem that when Suarez is in form that Liverpool are a one-man team, but when Super Chimp hit form this season by scoring pretty much all Spurs' goals then he is being hailed as the "New Ronaldo".

I'm getting side-tracked. As I've previously stated, the press make up any shit they like anyway - Liverpool fans are more painfully aware of this than most. The press lie about things that are actually important so which footballer plays for which team is way down the list and fair game frankly.

While Suarez keeps signing new contracts (and getting pay-rises) I think it's safe to assume he's happy enough. But we have to be realistic. Luis Suarez is 26 and only 6 months in to a 4 year contract. Now we all now that contracts are really only a gauge of how much a player is worth rather than an actual commitment to be at a club for four years. But if we don't get our shit together soon, by which I mean next season, then Luis Suarez is going to start to get nervous. And if he has another daughter, but names her something like Rebanbeu then it's a pretty safe bet that he's off to Madrid.

If by March next year we are still flapping about in a similar position in the league then I'm reasonably confident that the Luis Suarez transfer stories will become more frequent and less vigorously denied, especially if Uruguay (and Luis Suarez) haven't got the World Cup to distract them.

Luis Suarez with one of the new boys.

So this leaves the ball firmly in Liverpool and Brendan Rodgers' court. If we can get through the summer (by keeping Suarez, obviously) and also not fucking up another transfer window (the most recent one being the only one for a while that we haven't) then it's time for everyone else to step up.

If Suarez keeps doing what he's been doing and everyone else starts to chip in, with a little help from the new boys then just maybe we'll be able to win the Arsene Wenger Trophy and get in the top 4.

Because the problem is that if Luis Suarez does keep doing what he has been and is top scorer in the league next year as well then he won't hang around if we are seventh.

He will go somewhere where his goals aren't being wasted.

Time to dream the impossible dream...

Before you read this nonsense, check out my Just Giving link.

11 games to go and 10 points off fourth.. not very likely is it?

Well, maybe not.. but when you look at it a bit more closely (there's going to be a lot of clutching at straws here) then maybe we're in with a shout.

I'm tempted to say Spurs are already going to be up there with Super Chimp in the form he is at the moment, but when you look at the other contenders.. well, there's a case to be made.

Chelsea are the current occupiers of the fourth spot, but they seem to be a little erratic and Agent Benitez is not being very subtle with his mission so far, so the chances are he might be shown the revolving door sooner rather than later. When you bring in other factors.. mardy fans and mardy players who both seem to hold their legendary manager in contempt, few other competitions left to get in the way, the mystifying Frank Lampard contract problems. They've only picked up 4 points from the last 12.. and some sketchy home form. They also have trips to Old Trafford and Anfield and the visit of Spurs in a tricky run of games, so it's feasible that the wheels may come off at some point.

Arsenal's ship isn't exactly running smoothly either, losing to Blackburn in the Cup and then Bayern Munich who'll bin them out of Europe in a couple of weeks. In a strange way that might actually help their cause. Teams tend to dip in form when they get knocked out of the Champions League.. but when it's already over by the end of the 1st leg, it gives teams time to get used to the idea, so it for example they get a draw in Germany then confidence rises. However, their first team did get beaten by Bradford, so we'll see how that works out for them.

However, their league form isn't too shabby. it might take a bit of a knock at White Hart Lane this weekend though, and they have Man Utd to play at the Emirates as well.They'll probably be there or thereabouts come the end as they'll pick up enough points to remain in contention.

 Everton - No.

Liverpool have an interesting run of games coming up. Hardest away trip looks like Newcastle on paper, with Chelsea and Spurs to come to Anfield. If we can get up a head of steam, and by we I mean Suarez and Sturridge before we get to those home games then who knows.

If we can take 13 points from next 5 games (Wigan, Southampton and Villa away, Spurs and West Ham at home) then we might be in with a shout. And lets face it, we've not much else to keep us occupied. Our home form has been pretty brutal if you ignore visitors from the West Midlands and we've run out of them. For the record Played 6, Won 6, For 21 Against Nil.

If we can trim it to 5 or 6 points of fourth with 5 or 6 games to go... well it's still unlikely. We're 15/1 to get into the top 4 for a reason.

Possible, not too likely.. maybe another spin in the UEFA Cup, but frankly that would be a little depressing. I don't know about you, but I kind of like seeing us play on a Saturday.. and with a bit of luck Tuesday and Wednesday next season.

Well with a shit load of luck anyway.

The fine line between success & failure

Before you start reading this nonsense, please check out this link to my Just Giving page.

Guess what kids - it's another - what's gone wrong at Liverpool post. Well it is and it isn't.. I'm just going to start and see what gets churned out at the end.

The last few games have not gone well - that's apparent for all to see. But it could all have been very different  if this new found tendency to switch off in games hadn't raised it's head.

In 4 of the last 5 games we have let our season unravel by conceding two quick goals, which as tendencies go is a a pretty fatal one when it comes to playing games of football.

Oldham was where it started to go wrong. Where the wheels started coming off our season. Now I know the defence got changed around a bit that game, but it also got beaten up as well. To go from 1-1 to 3-1 in the space of a few minutes (either side of half-time) is unforgivable and even more so in an away cup-tie, where the locals will go deservedly bat-shit mental. But Skrtel didn't shower himself in glory and I think this may be where the rot set in.

Then the game at Arsenal, we did actually have the foresight to actually get a couple of goals up before the collapse - but at 2-0 up you have to be closing the game out. I watched that game, initially not expecting too much, but when you get the goal your expectations rise and you suddenly have something to lose. I was nervous until Henderson popped up with the second and then I relaxed because I thought it was game over. The trouble is so did we. 2-2 - a point would have been a decent result at Arsenal, but a point is never a good result from 2-0 up.

The City game.. we played well, better than against Arsenal. We got our noses in front, something not many teams do at City but we couldn't close it out and an individual error (Ferguson short-hand for not my fault) let us down. Same as the City game at Anfield actually. 2-1 up and drop a couple of points due to fuck ups.

Then it in turned to shit.. that's the thing with draws, however respectable they may be. Two defeats in quick succession and we're suddenly talking about no wins in 5 games rather than unbeaten in 4.

West Brom - we controlled, but didn't take our chances. Even missed an admittedly soft penalty, but that was very damaging. We could and should have been looking at moving up into 6th (above Everton) with a win against Swansea tomorrow. But Foster saves the pen, we take our eye off the ball and we are back in 9th.

I saw it - I don't believe it.

That was a vital game.. all the confidence gained from respectable performances away, on the back of a few hammerings of sides at Anfield, has taken a hit. West Brom have been on a downward spiral for a while and personally I made the mistake of actually presuming we were going to batter them. This is usually when the alarm bells start ringing - I am naturally pessimistic when it comes to Liverpool - didn't always used to be that way but these things do have a habit of grinding you down over the years. I thought we'd batter West Brom and head off to Russia full of confidence.

Instead we went scared that the slightest fuck-up will get punished. Now we did well enough, we were controlling the game in the second half without looking too dangerous - although Suarez did miss several chances which is something we don't like to see.

But Hulk scored a screamer, which you can't really legislate for, but again we switched off and conceded 2 quick goals. We have seen what happens if you start doing on a regular basis. You get what you deserve frankly.

Now the defence has chopped around a bit during these games.. Agger and Skrtel have dipped. Carragher has come in and done, well better than expected considering, but if your defence isn't settled then you can start to have problems. The recent evidence for this is pretty damning.

So where does this leave us going into the Swansea game.

Well there is a likelihood that the squad will be tired, but having said that we went from the away game in Moscow to another respectable draw at Chelsea in November, but we have also played on Monday and Thursday so there is a chance we will start to look a bit tired by the end of it.

The one plus point we do have is that Sturridge is back fit again.. now frankly we should have been able to dispatch West Brom without his help (and he was ineligible in Europe) but we missed him.. almost as if we are some kind of one man team. There's some lazy ass journalism right there... always pisses me off. If they could just decide who the "one man" was we might be able to do something about it.

I did read the take on Spurs one-man team situation in the paper. Rather than criticism the headline went "Is Gareth Bale the new Ronaldo" - Now I don't want to go on about bias in papers but WTF.

Back to more relevant issues. Swansea do have a cup final to look forward to next week and that be helpful to us as although they are playing for places, players who are scared of getting injured or picking up suspensions tend to take their eye off the ball and performances can dip - well put it this way, I fucking hope so, because if they are up for it then we are going to have a very serious fight on our hands.

And we need to start winning again.. If wouldn't have taken much more in each one of those 3 league games to be looking at 9 points rather than 2. And we'd be in 6th looking at moving to within spitting distance of 4th place.. but like I said, it's a fine line.

We just need to make sure we're the right side of it against Swansea.

We all dream of a team of Carragher's

This picture doesn't really need a caption

So that's it then. Jamie Carragher will play his final game for Liverpool this Sunday... his 737th appearance for the club. Pretty special in todays era of agents moving players round just for the sake of their bank balances.

It is also fitting that he leaves Liverpool with the supporters not wanting him to leave.. well stop playing at least. You can be pretty sure he's still going to be around on matchdays, especially now he's working for Sky alongside the anti-Carragher.. although credit where it's due, he has done a good job for Sky despite being "a busy little cunt" at Man Utd.

It is curious that Carragher's  announcement that he would be retiring at the end of the season coincided almost exactly with his return to the first team. Personally I am surprised that he didn't have second thoughts once it seemed that he did have another season left in his legs. Maybe that was the problem, if he was finding it a struggle, although it didn't seem too apparent. Not enough of a problem for Skrtel to get much of a sniff of a game. The fact that he already had something lined up with the move to Sky probably influenced his decision also... I suspect if that wasn't there we'd still be seeing Carra next season. But getting paid a shit-load for sitting about talking about football doesn't seem too taxing does it. Even Andy fucking Townsend gets paid for that despite barely having a basic grasp of the game.

The Carragher Manifesto

My hope is that this isn't the last the Liverpool FC will see of James Lee Duncan Carragher.. and not just sat in the stands with all the other ex-Reds. Or working for the TV with all the other ex-Reds. After reading "The Carragher Manifesto" (I believe it was called something different officially but that's not important) I want that lad in charge of Liverpool Football Club.

Football autobiographies are usually achingly dull, but Carragher's is one of the best one's going which is actually mainly about football. There are interesting ones but they aren't really about football (for example : Tony Adams, Steve Claridge).

But why am I trying to sell you this book, you've probably already read it and if not you're more likely to be interested in what the Anti-Carragher (Rat-Boy, Gary Neville, the devil has many faces) has to say for himself, which he tends to do quite a lot more these days now he's got a job for Sky.

Actually in many ways they are pretty much the same, it's just that they played for different clubs and depending on your allegiance. You either love Jamie Carragher.. or well there's probably something wrong with you if not.

Whatever Jamie Carragher does or says just makes you like him more.. (whilst the exact opposite was true of Neville) whether it was scoring a penalty for Everton at Anfield, or looking at the interviewer as if he had three heads when asked whether he'd consider leaving Liverpool for a bigger club and then telling him "Who's bigger than Liverpool?"

Or on the eve of the 2nd leg of the 2005 Champions League semi-final when on a booking saying that he didn't mind getting booked and missing the final so long "as it mattered".

Or the the story of how Salif Diao confided in him that Everton we're interested in him, but he was worried about the Liverpool fans reaction. "No.. don't worry about that.. you go and sign for Everton." Please for fucks sake go and sign for Everton.

I got stuck in a bit of a loop then... sorry.

To get back to my point.. I want to see Jamie Carragher in charge of Liverpool. He eats, sleeps, and breathes football. He studies the game like not many players do and I believe would make a  great manager - a few years down the line admittedly, but he will one day.

Now this is a bit of a leap, but say 5 years down the line, perhaps more.. hopefully we haven't gone through too many managers by that point, because a high turnover is not a good sign - maybe even with him in as a coach before then. He's practically doing this already - I read that he barks orders at Andre Wisdom whilst on the bench apparently - you can bet that this isn't an isolated incident.

But can you imagine a better person to be in charge for the re-perching of Liverpool?